Pardon

When it becomes impossible to simplify our thoughts, it becomes imperative that we find shelter in those that know them. This has been a source of comfort for me ever since I started seriously thinking about life and my part in it. It becomes a matter of sitting still with those that already understand the ramblings of a 23 year old traveler, they know because they helped write those thoughts. No matter what walks of life we find ourselves in, we still take the six years of friendship with us everywhere we go. So here I am two years removed from these friends, asking them to put back together that part of me that I once knew, to get a sense of what was once important and why it seems like I have forgotten some important truth. These answers do not come easily, I find that with every brush stroke I had to the canvas, there is another indefinable feeling that works its way into my consciousness. I wish I could write about this with more clarity, however I feel that the subject by nature is very vague and hard to grasp. Who am I? What does that question even mean? I suppose I feel like I get closer to answering that by studying my friends reflections of me, their thoughts and understanding of my mind but more importantly what they have come to value in me. I feel an urgency to become well again and answer these questions because I believe I owe it to these remarkable people who have held me for so long. I owe them a friend who can take care of them when they feel small.